


babylon

by raininouterspace



Series: song fics [1]
Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Ancient Rome, Bottom Kim Seungmin, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Inspired by Music, M/M, Sad, Sad Ending, Sad Kim Seungmin, Suicide, Suicide Attempt, Top Hwang Hyunjin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-25
Updated: 2020-11-25
Packaged: 2021-03-09 20:29:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,424
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27712064
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/raininouterspace/pseuds/raininouterspace
Summary: seungmins heart is burning, the hungry flames fueled by every breath hyunjin takes.water will maybe tame the flames and cool his aching chest, he thinks.
Relationships: Hwang Hyunjin & Kim Seungmin, Hwang Hyunjin/Kim Seungmin
Series: song fics [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2026841
Kudos: 18





	babylon

**Author's Note:**

  * For [my angel mai](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=my+angel+mai).



> I dont know shit about ancient rome so I'm sorry about the inaccuracy.
> 
> also, theres the exact same story somewhere on wattpad and yeah, that's me, it wasnt stolen, just an author posting on two different websites.
> 
> uhm idk how ao3 works yet, so hi guys hope yall enjoy

❝ burn too bright now the fires gone, watch it all fall down babylon ❞

the air in the room was filled with tension so thick the young man felt he would suffocate any second. it hurt to breath in, to swallow down the unsaid words and unshed tears and whatever else was hanging in the air so threatingly in between him and hyunjin.

the latter seemed pretty unaffected by the mood, lounging on one of the giant chairs, reading a book.

seungmin found himself staring at the man, feeling just a little less suffocated, able to focus on something.  
and damn, it was so easy to lose himself in the presence and motions of the blonde, drinking in his every move and motion hungrily.

hwang hyunjin was a work of art in every aspect and it was just so unfair how he would never choose seungmin.  
the younger would always be the second choice, the one to be left somewhere while the older was gone again, having fun and living while seungmin felt like dying every day.

maybe it was his own fault for falling in those damn pretty eyes and letting himself be wrapped around the slender finger of the blonde, aware of everything, yet he never made a move.  
yeah, maybe he was the one to blame now. 

"what you thinking about, pretty?" hyunjin was suddenly behind him, his long red robes flowing with every move as he hugged seungmin. his flowery scent reached the youngers nose and brought too many painful memories with it, catapulting him back into another time for a moment.

it was so long ago already, two or three years, the numbers were blurry - but not the pictures.

him and hyunjin, in the middle of the woods behind rome, both armed with a bow and arrows. hyunjin was ahead, as always, sitting on his horse in a picture perfect position, his bow slung over his shoulder lazily, yet always ready to aim and shoot.

for a second, seungmin felt himself lose focus on their task at hand - which was hunting, for the feast held by hyunjins family this evening - and just admiring the masterpiece that was his partner.  
well, not really partner.

hyunjin was already married, or soon to be, to the daughter of a rich man.  
and as far as seungmin knew, the older wasn't even opposed to it - despite claiming he was gay and didnt enjoy the nights spent with his bride, everyone would notice the way these nights became more frequent as their wedding was fastly approaching.

just a few more weeks and seungmin would be dumped, maybe even publicly humiliated and then left to see how he would survive. he knew hyunjin far too well, having spent about four years by his side by now, well aware of the sadistic and cruel side of the otherwise always gentle and sweet boy.

like he said, he wouldnt be surprised if hyunjin would publicly out him and get him executed or something, it would probably give him a sick sense of satisfaction to do so.

"babe, what are you doing there?" hyunjins sweet voice made him snap out of it and realize that his horse had stopped completely after getting no new commands from him.

"oh sorry, just in uh, thoughts", seungmin whispered sadly, the older not questioning it and they continued their way.

that one specific memory might seem completely random and without much meaning to anyone else, but it was the most painful seungmin could remember.  
the... things that had happened later on, after they had come back home with loads of animals to give to their cooks to prepare, were still engraved into the young mans memory, despite him trying whatever he could to just forget.

the turning point of their arrangement was undetermined and hard to find in the blur of bad decisions, empty promises and laws of their world, their relationship - if one could call it that - based on one partys needs and the others empty mind and aching heart.  
failed from the beginning, doomed and meant to fall one day.

maybe it was seungmins fault, for blindly following into this situation, stupidly in love and blind to the obvious outcome, which was determined from the start.

the fact that they both were men wasnt the worst of it all, sure, people would point their fingers at them and maybe call them some slurs, or try to turn them and pray to Zeus or whatever.

it wouldnt do any harm though, especially in relations like them, two men together wasnt unfamiliar and seungmin would go as far as saying you could actually see two men or women being intimate on the streets of rome.

the real reason this was doomed from the beginning, like a fast approaching fire on the horizon, was hyunjin.  
that stupid, ethereal, fucking asshole.

he had once told seungmin he would never leave, that this was more than pleasure, that he would send his men over to get seungmin not just for his own desires but to spend some pretty time together.  
he had promised him sweet nights together, he had promised him walks along the hills outside rome, he had promised years and years of love.

he had once even gone as far as promising him to be there, to wait for him in the underworld. he would fight hades, just to be able to wait for his lover and greet him with a sweet, sweet kiss.

those promises were all empty, none of them meant by heart.  
and seungmin knew and yet he still believed, just to somehow slow the burning of his heart, like a bucket of water thrown into way too high flames, just to dim them a little.

"hey, what's going through your pretty head, hm? care to share?"

hyunjin was everywhere, his sweet scent all around seungmin, making him dizzy. his hands sneaked their way up his chest, quietly and elegantly opening up the buttons that held seungmins robe together.

right, he was still here. he was still sitting in hyunjins mansion, waiting for the night to fall any moment and the blonde to get up and announce he would go and spend the last night before their wedding with his wife.  
wife. he had started calling her that long ago, about three months after getting to know her. seungmin had nearly thrown up when hearing it the first time, but not today - today, he was prepared for hyunjin to finally push him over the edge, he was prepared for the fall, for the way he would just drown eventually. he was okay with it, too.

anything to have a minute more with the older. anything.

and if it meant he would drown in his own heartache afterwards, that he would just die like that, then so be it.  
he would go through it all happily, he would even go and appear at that damned wedding tomorrow, watch his hyunjin become someone else's hyunjin.

"when are you gonna go... home?", seungmin asked the blonde, trying his hardest to ignore the cold but gentle hand sneaking it's way across his chest, roaming around on his bare skin underneath the clothing.

"I am home", hyunjin chuckled somewhere next to his ear, going to softly nibble on the youngers neck.  
blood pooled in his mouth as he bit his lip a little too hard, scared a sound would escape him.

"to- to you know...", he mumbled.

the sweet bites stopped. "do you want me to go?"

there it was again, the tension clawing it's way through seungmins mind.  
"I dont know, uhm, its it's your wedding after a-all tomorrow-"

"that's why I wish to spend this night with you, pretty." hyunjins voice was deep and smooth, but rough around the edges and it cut seungmins heart open even more. how could he not blindly follow when hyunjin was like this? when he was practically a sin walking around, the fact the gods decided to let him exist like this a ridiculous test to see how much seungmin could endure?

"but-but..."

"shhhh, dont say anything, please." somewhere, a little bit of hurt sounded through the building heat in his voice, but he masked it well enough to be able to slip underneath seungmins senses.

"okay- okay. I wont." seungmin gave up once more, the last time - he told himself over and over again as hyunjin let his clothes fall to the ground and laid him down on the sofa, pressing him into the soft red cushions.

❝ still the hardest part is knowing when to let go ❞

hyunjin had left before seungmin had woken up, leaving behind an empty room and a heartbroken man.  
the younger got up, cleaned up the room of any traces of what they had done the night before and clothing himself again, before leaving too.

it was quiet,the streets empty and no one paid attention to the young man hurrying through town, back home to his way too small house vast of all the luxury hyunjin lived in.

granted, the only reason he was able to even afford this was because of hyunjin, the older gifting him with money occasionally throughout their years together.

for the first time, a ridiculous thought corrssed seungmins mind and he chuckled to himself. wasn't he basically a prostitute, just with some extra steps? come and satisfy hyunjins needs when demanded and leave afterwards with money to buy food and clothes.

oh god he was getting depressed now.

❝ burn too bright now the fires gone ❞

hundreds of high men of rome were walking around, chatting and drinking expensive wine from glasses made of gold and diamonds.  
seungmin felt so horribly out of place and all he wanted to do was run away, but the invitation had been written by hyunjin himself and like a damn dog on a leash he couldn't just say no.

the blonde was nowhere to be seen, probably enjoying some time alone with his wife before the ceremony would proceed.  
the thought left seungmin burning but some masochistic streak in him decided it was its purpose to show him pictures of it every few minutes.  
each imagination was like a dagger to his heart, but he couldnt stop his mind from going directions and places he shouldnt visit and didnt even want to.

and then, just as he was ready to actually go and leave, no matter how much his heart protested against doing so, hyunjin appeared together with his wife at his side.  
she was truly a beauty, with black flowing hair and a pretty, delicate face. 

her name had slipped seungmins mind but he thought, probably eighty percent of the guests didnt know either, as she was never really addressed by anything else but either "hyunjins wife" or "aphrodite", the latter being a mix of mocking and admiring, pointing out her beauty yet mocking her by giving her the name of the goddess of beauty.

seungmin didnt know much about her, she was part of the higher level of the community, a part which he only had access to through hyunjin. but from what he had heard, she was too demanding and wild to be a wife like it was imagined at this time. she would go and seduce whoever she could, to get whatever she wanted.  
though he was careful to believe that, as he had learned that rumours might be something to believe where he stood, but not when you were sipping wine from a golden cup.

❝ watch it all fall down, babylon ❞

the ceremony was over, hyunjin and his wife wed and seungmin found himself on the balcony of the mansion, sitting at the swimming pool, staring off into the dark sky. the sun had set long ago, the guests getting drunk inside and him slowly growing colder outside.

hyunjin had never talked to him in all those hours, had just invited him and never bothered to actually greet him. he had just left the younger there, in between people he would usually be bowing to, now suddenly treated equal.

the consul had shook his hand, and his breath had ghosted over the young mans face, laced with alcohol. and he had greeted seungmin.

well, at least he had gotten something out of this night, he supposed bitterly.

his heart was still on fire, slowly burning to ashes and leaving nothing but pain and emptiness behind.

he wanted it to stop, he needed it to he was going insane oh god anything-

seungmins gaze fell on the pool, gigantic in the starlight and filled with ice cold water to the brim, usually used for hyunjin to have fun in. the blonde loved the water and was one of the few people who actually knew how to swim effectively, how to cut through the waves in an elegant way and not just avoid drowning.

seungmin couldnt swim, and maybe he had been sad about it a few times when watching hyunjin swim around, but today he was kinda glad it was this way.

he was on fire and water was usually there to shut off the flames, so he got up and went inside and got a cup of wine from somewhere.  
something to take his mind off the glistening water outside, it would be too easy.

four or five cups of expensive wine, his mind blurring and thoughts jumbling.

the liquid seemed to fuel the fire in his chest and the fear was gone so before he knew what was happening, seungmin was stood infront of hyunjin and his wife, the older not even sparing him a glance. it hurt but whatever.

"hyunjin." his voice finally made the blonde alert, his face displaying shock and hurt, but the younger was too far gone to mind it.

"congratulations on your marriage, I wish you the best."

and he turned around and left, accidentally tripping over his own feet, someone caught him and he might have forgotten to thank the stranger or he maybe did, he didnt know.

the water sparkled in the light of the moon and stars and seungmin knew, this was right.  
he didnt have anything to live for, and the only reason to stay was gone the moment he had appeared, only staying for a moment and never fully being his.

hyunjin had never been seungmins.

but seungmin was hyunjins and he would always be.

❝ you wanted to go higher higher higher

burn too bright now the fires gone

watch it all fall down

babylon ❞


End file.
